Saturday, July 30, 2011

Back to Work

I'm sorry about last night's post. Yesterday was bad.

When I escaped Star's diabolical plans, instead of heading straight out of town like I said I would, I went back to the apartment. I needed my notes, my money, some clothes, and the things Cam left for me. A pile of letters and a notebook.

The idiot made one of THOSE notebooks. And I never knew. Hidden in the blank pages is a pretty accurate picture of... of how he died. He definitely drew it. I... I don't know when he did, but he knew. He fucking knew. What the fuck is this? Apparently he was never as Slendyfree as he said he was. I just don't understand why he lied.

While waiting for Nick at the apartment, I started talking to Shaun, and he...I dunno, he went fucking nuts and started freaking out about how I wasn't safe. I didn't know what else to do, so I ran. Six blocks faster than I've bugged out in a long time. Found myself at the cemetery. Got to see Cam one last time before I left town...

That was where Nick met me. I was an absolute mess, I'll admit it. I was lucky that it was deserted that morning. Not many people want to visit a graveyard on a bright, hot morning. The rest of the day was spent alternately doing things like setting up a meeting with August and Spencer and selling the car and randomly breaking down on poor Nick. I'm not proud of it, but I had my one day. I let myself grieve for one day. I gave an entire day to the fear and misery and desperation.

No more. I've got work to do if I want to help those of you who need my help. I don't have time for tears and crying.

August, Spencer, I'm sorry you had to see me like that yesterday. Dinner went badly, and a lot of that is my fault. Thank you for all of your help.


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  2. I sort of understand the reasons why. Sort of.

    Possibly for similar reasons I was trying to hide things from Marie (and others) for a bit. I've thought better of that, though.

    By the way, I did talk to Tia. I think she's more worried for my sanity than believing me for the moment. At least she cares enough to worry, I guess?

    Take Care, Elaine.

  3. Only one day? I don't think it works like that. Maybe I'm just weak.

  4. I've spent all week trying to function around it and failing. I gave myself a day to do nothing but grieve.
    It's not that it magically stopped hurting, it's that I can work around it again now.

  5. Hahaha.
    It's going to hit you with all the grace of a semi one day.
    But there's nothing you can do about that, eh?
    By the way, my guys keep saying how much of a "Feisty chick" you are. And if you're impressing them, you've GOT to be doing better than you think.

    ... Make sure you don't forget your reflection. S'important, alright?

  6. Spence, I've got to keep going, I can't stand around waiting for it to hit. You were right about one thing, though. Trying to pull away is stupid. Thanks for helping me get my head on straight.

    I'm not sure how I impressed your team with my spectacular idiocy, but I'll take it. And once again, sorry for... well, you know

  7. Hey. I pulled off my shirt. In public.
    In hindsight, that was /not/ a smart move. you saw why.

  8. Yes, well. At least you were facing the wall? I don't think many people saw. Probably.
    Fuck I'm glad I'm not in town to deal with that anymore.

  9. Dem coppers were not too pleased. At least August and I got a good workout with the running and the hiding.
    (Really, those guys have nothing on Proxies ;) )

    How are you faring?

  10. Hehe, yeah, they're usually pretty good with that. Really glad they didn't think to try and nab Nick or I, it would've been awkward what with me officially being a Missing Person...

    I'm doing... better. Making plans that aren't suicidal, listening to the advice from the letter and not pulling the fuck away. Cam usually knew what he was doing, and if he thought it was important enough to leave in the letter, I don't really think I can ignore that.

    So, you know, I'm about as okay as I can be, under the circumstances. Not much more you can ask for, really.

  11. Remember, you're always welcome at The House if y'need a place to stay.
    I'm sure you'll find us if you need us. That's...
    That's the way it works, after all.

  12. Thanks, Spence. I really will come see you soonish. I just have stuff I need to do first.

  13. I'm so sorry. What's happened to you sounds dreadful. Is there anything any of us can do to help?

  14. ...Thanks for the thought, Jessie, but there isn't anything you can do.

  15. A single day might not be enough, but if it helps you get through this and deal with life, go for it. Everyone has to do what they've gotta do.