Saturday, June 18, 2011

Well Fuck Me

Not literally.

Sorry, force of habit. Today has been... strange. And nervewracking. It's my day off, you see, from both jobs. Cam thought we should stay home and hide all day, but that didn't seem condusive to the whole 'keeping positive and happy' thing, so I insisted we go out and have some fun. Very cheap fun, mind you, but just getting out of the house for something other than work was a huge relief.
I definitely needed that. I know I'm new to the whole slendystalking thing, but how do you guys with more experience not keel over every time someone you care about is put in danger?  Between Scott and Lucas and Joel, my day has been one great big bundle of nerves. Especially in regards to the latter two. They're just kids.
I guess most of you lot are.
What a strange thought.
I guess that sounds kind of pompous for someone not yet 25, but living on the street ages you, even if you're not running from Tall, Dark, and Ugly.

Right. Point. There was a point, here. I've been reading more blogs-Kay's and Zero's, as well as a couple shorter ones that are interesting, if less relevant.
Once I finish with Zero and the new sages I'll be updating my mission statement. As it stands now, I've already got a lot of things to think about.
Also, I've got the pictures of the notebook. Once I finish texting them to my email address to get them from my phone to my computer, I'll start putting them up for you lot to see. The first batch should be up tomorrow.

One thing that's bothering me, and that might be nothing or might be something important, is that I'm starting to doodle. On everything. It's strange. And yes, I've found myself starting to draw Operator symbols before I catch myself. That makes me nervous, if nothing else, because outside of controlled circumstances I really don't want to start playing with something that might draw TDU my way. Y'know, as much as there CAN be controlled circumstances for this sort of thing.

In any case, I should cut myself off now before I ramble any longer. Rambling tends to mean giving in to one's nerves, and no matter how nervous I am for myself and everyone else right now, I can't risk losing it. I've got to stay strong for Cam.

Edit: Did not MEAN to leave my notes at the bottom of the page. Whups.


  1. Im keeping this short other wise it'll be really long. If you find yourself drawing the operator symbol try changing it, colour it in or draw a face onto it. If your concerned it might draw him towards you (no pun intended)than changing into something else should ease your mind, if only a little. Be safe.

  2. Heh, that's not a bad idea. Thanks, I'll use that.

  3. Hello, saw your comment and while I am taking a break from blogging itself, I am still here checking my comments, keeping an eye on my friends, and in general being nosy.

    Nice to meet you Elaine. Seems like you've got a fairly good head on your shoulders, so while I'm sorry that you've entered our nightmare, I can at least say that intelligence and common sense are something we need more of around here. Welcome to the club.

    Might I recommend though that you remove your college from your profile? The Quislings are always watching and we shouldn't give them any extra clues on how to find us.

  4. Hi Kay!
    I'm glad to meet you as well.
    You're probably right about the college, I'll take it down. Only reason it was up was that I was so proud of getting in, but at this rate I probably won't be able to be there in the fall anyway.

  5. Keep being proud, and don't give up. It's not an easy task, but there are a few people that are managing to live this and still keep going to school, my friend Hakurei Ryuu being the first example that comes to mind.

  6. Wow, Haku's still school? I haven't read her blog yet, but I've seen enough of her being awesome about the blogs that I kind of figured she'd have to be a runner by now.
    That's actually really encouraging. Thanks. Strangely, that's been the almost the worst thing about all of this. I fought so hard to get to school, I don't want to have to drop out now.

  7. It's not strange at all. We work hard for our goals, and the idea of not being able to keep them is sometimes just as painful as the more physical things that happen. Ryuu is currently on her summer break, and is definitely not a runner, although I do have my worries about what is going to happen once her passport comes and she heads up to Canada to rescue a friend.

  8. Yeah. I just feel perhaps a bit silly griping about possibly missing next term when I'll be lucky just to be alive that long, I guess.
    Cam certainly thinks so, anyway, but he's not... he didn't have to fight for all of this like I did.
    Thanks. And I hope everything turns out well for her.

  9. Now that everything is said and done, what were your notes? What was your plan?

  10. Heh, Dia, they were notes for the write ups I've already put up. Nothing special or fancy.