Stealing the Account

Don't worry, I'm not a proxy or anything. This is Cam.
If you read Joel and Lucas' blog, you'll know by now that something happened. If not, then I guess I get to be the one to inform you that Elaine is in the hospital. Their Wolf came, hunted them down. We knew he was coming. The idiot has a blog. Elaine... well, she's Elaine. She taunted him. A lot. I didn't know about that, not until Joel told me.
Ffff... That makes one more thing she didn't bother to tell me. I know her well, about as well as anyone does, but  there's still so much that I didn't know... And she better wake up and talk to me.
She got a call, not long after we got to the hospital, from someone... I don't think she'd want me to tell who, considering how carefully she's been guarding the secret from all of us. But I just... I dunno. She knows my life story, she sits and reads and learns about all the rest of us, and none of us knows the first thing about her. She just... keeps reading and fighting for all of us, keeps trying to save us all.

Bah. That was not where I was trying to go with this. I just... Elaine's hit her head. Bad. The doctors say she'll probably be fine, but there's a chance that she has some fairly serious brain damage. There's even a chance she'll never wake up at all.

I don't know what to do. Until Jacob gets back, she's all I have. And even when he does, I can't tell him about... all of this. I don't want to risk the man I'm going to marry like that. I don't...
Fuck.
Elaine, wake up. Please. We need you.

In Which There is Learning for All

I love the routine we've settled into since Lucas and Joel got here Friday. I went ahead and took a few days off of both jobs, calling it a family emergency. I think my bosses were so gobsmacked by the idea that I have family that they didn't question why two little British boys qualified.

So, this is the first vacation I've had in years. And I'm spending it frantically trying to do large amounts of research and teach everything I can to Lucas and Joel. Strangely, I'm not only fine with that, I'm really enjoying this. It's been really peaceful. Even with that strange shared dream that apparently I had with Morningstar and AmalgationSage. Uhm. I don't even know.

Right. But the important bits. For those of you with Holmes level deduction skills, this should be obvious. For the rest of you, let me lay out what I've been doing. From what I've read, there are a lot of conflicting theories on what to do if Tall, Dark, and Faceless has already taken over your mind.
Ideally, in the long term, I hope to find something conclusive on the matter, so that I can help those who need it. This is not my current goal, however. My current goal is to help all the runners who are suffering Slendy effects, becoming sleepers or getting turned into proxies or honestly just losing time or going crazy.
So, after doing a lot of research and borrowing heavily from Hakurei Ryuu, as well as one specific article from AmalgationSage and a whole lot of research into meditation and imaging techniques. The theory, which I'm working with the boys to test, as well as trying for myself,  is that if you can martial your mental defenses, you can keep him out of your head and survive longer in the process. Because as far as I can tell, he always breaks his prey's mental defenses, and if what happened to Amalga is any indication, it's quite possible that he can't get to you physically until he's gotten inside your head. Which has led me to a couple of different hypotheses that I need to find a way to test without it being actively suicide.
The first one, which is what I'm working with here, is the safest. It is, as I mentioned, the idea that if we can fortify our minds, he can't get in/we can kick him out. Which is why I'm really glad to have all four of us for this. We're all at different stages of being mentally affected by Slendy. Ideally we'd also have someone who's even further gone than Lucas, but this is a great place to start.
For obvious reasons I'm not going to get into EXACTLY what we're doing. But once we have results one way or another, I promise I'll give you details, and advice for how best to get started, if it seems to work. I'm wary of posting too much of the details of what I'm doing when it can still be interfered with, since I know three different proxies AT LEAST are reading this.

Edit: Here's what Lucas has to say

In Which We Have Houseguests

Lucas and Joel are here, safe and sound. For those of you who haven't been following, this is quite a relief, as the two of them have been stuck in some strange Labyrinth-esque cottage of doom, and the escape put Joel in a coma. I was concerned they'd never make it out, much less over here to sit on our couch and talk about the relative merits of British versus American TV.

I would still be talking to them instead of updating the blog, but honestly the conversation has devolved into a discussion of movies and hot actors, neither of which are exactly my cups of tea.

So, I'm off to the side with Cam's laptop. We figure we should let everyone know we're all safe, anyway.

We picked them up at the airport somewhere around four hours ago. In that time, we have all discovered that yes, we do get along just as well in real life as we do on the internet. Which is good to know, really, considering I'd hate to have to kick them out if they were twats.

Yes. Fine. I probably deserved that, guys. Yeah. Cam just smacked me and told me I'd do no such thing. He's right, too.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. We brought them back to our place right off. Tonight, the plan was to stay in and treat them to the best/worst of American life.
We had Cam's homemade burgers and fries, as well as an apple pie he'd somehow found the time to bake from scratch. We treated them to trashy American TV and I think the boys are talking about booting up Super Smash Bros.
It's really outrageously middle-class American, and utterly ridiculous in the face of everything.

But that's good. They needed this. All three of them, but especially Joel and Lucas. They've had enough on their plates lately. I'm glad we can give them a night to just enjoy themselves again. We can start on the work in the morning.

Those We Have Lost

Just a bit of warning, two jobs, a lot of research, and preparing to run for the hills at a moment's notice doesn't leave a girl much time for posting, so the frequency of updates is about to go way down. There's so much information to take in, and I'm hoping that the more I take in the better equipped I am to fight this.

Thank you so much to all of you that have been helping me with the notebook. My instincts tell me that there's a lot of big here, and I'm eager to find out what it is.

I'm preparing a new, bigger mission statement post with my up-to-date theories, as well as blurbs on everything I'm currently looking into. That probably won't be up for a few days. It's a lot of work, and I've been taking a lot of extra shifts, to save money.

Eurgh. The things I do to save my ass.

On a different, more serious note, two stalked that I've been following have(probably?) died this week. I didn't know Scott or Zero very well, being a newcomer to the scene. But Scott was a good man, and Zero... well, he lost his shit, but as far as I can tell, he honestly thought he'd be helping. I wanted to pay my respects, the only way I can.

Fuck. I'd really been hoping I'd have a chance to buy Scott a drink like I promised. He was the first person to comment on this blog, my first real link to everyone. We didn't talk much, just commented on each other's blogs, but he was brilliant. He may not have always made the best decisions, but neither do I. The kid had balls for miles, and watching him go all out to help the people he cared about was amazing. 

The little fucker even forgave his Moriarty. Not many people have the stones to do that sort of thing. Sherlock, you'll be missed, and I really wish I'd had the chance to get to know you better.

Edit again: Scott-or someone using his account who changed it BACK from his name, is alive and blogging. Sort of. I'm concerned he may be a proxy now. Shit.

Zero. You were a fucking idiot, or crazy, or both. If I'd met you, I probably would have slugged you one for killing all those people. But I felt for you, reading through your old blog. You were put under the kind of pressure that has honestly cracked pretty much everyone. Hell, look at the rest of the poor bastards that got the title 'sage'. Except for Maduin, you've all gone off, one way or another. And Maduin may have just been too fucking insane from the get go.

But yeah. Zero. Fuck, he came out of it in the end. He went to fight the tree, to try to end this. I'm really hoping he's still alive, because if so he might be one of our greatest allies in the fight against TDF. Though I hesitate to say that, because the last thing he needs is more pressure. But, it's true. If he can pull his shit together, he'll be brilliant.

Edit: Kay's confirmed. He's dead. I don't really believe in any sort of afterlife, but I hope he found peace anyway. He deserved it.

Also, a mention for Joel and Lucas. They're not dead, nor will they be anytime soon(hopefully). But they've been in a lot of shit, and Joel's currently knocked out in a hospital bed. I'm not a spiritual sort, but any of you who do pray or send good mojo or whatever it is that you do, they could really use it. They're in some shit

The Notebook

There's something like forty pages, so I'm going to go ahead and link you to the album with ALL the pictures real quick, instead of putting them ALL on here and making the page take forever to load. Here is the link.

And here are the especially interesting pages, as far as I can tell. I think Blogger got them out of order, but I don't know that it matters much.

These four are interesting. I Googled the captions on them, and as it turns out, they're all Tarot cards. I'm doing a bit of research on their meanings, but if anyone knows more about them, I think the subtleties are a bit lost on me. Kay? If you're watching, any input?
ETA: The captions are Death-13, The Hanged Man-12, 16-The Tower, and The Moon-18

Could be nothing, but I wonder what's crossed out.

They have the modified Operator Symbol Ava found in Egypt. Not sure whether that means she was on to something or just that whoever this was read her blog, but it's interesting either way.

Seems to suggest that as Tall, Dark, and Ugly wants this person, they can't die. I'm not sure how visible it is, but under 'can't' the word 'tried' is crossed out. The implications are interesting, and unsettling

Aimee, this is the page with all the codes. The one at the top left is written vertically, it says 'Oh dear I'm so fucked I need to fight'. I'm not sure what the rest is, except for the vertical column on the bottom left. That's written Marble Hornets style 'I think I'm hallowed now'

These three are the strongest evidence in here for my Narrative theory. They're a bit hard to read, so in case you can't tell, the first one, the right hand page says 'Beware the Teller of Tales' and 'He who tells the story runs the world'. The second says 'The Writer always wins, even when zi loses'. Cam says Zi is a gender neutral pronoun. The third one says 'Find the story Before it's too late I've done all I can' Which is interesting because it implies perhaps a concrete object that can be found and manipulated.

Who do we know that wears a red hoodie? Again, not sure if this means the author MET Redlight or merely read of him, but interesting either way. Of course, it's possible that this refers to someone else entirely and I'm barking up the wrong tree...

I feel like all of this means something, I'm just not sure WHAT it means. My brain is fried from work, I'll put this up and get to the heavy speculating later. Anyone who has any input at all, please speak up. Seriously.

Results

So, I mentioned in my mission statement post that I had an experiment going on that I couldn't talk about, due to the rule of the Unspoken Plan.
Well, now it's done, and I can talk about it. As much as I hesitate to discuss this in such cold scientific terms. If I'd had another option, I would not have chosen to do this like this.

Lucas and Joel, from This Is Not A Blog, were in a crapload of trouble. They were being held in an illusory house, under guard from Tall, Dark, and Faceless himself. We don't know why, nor do we know why the fuck they were allowed internet access from within the illusion.
When I found them, they'd found a way to get out of the illusion, but not a way to get out  and away from TDF. So, I approached them with an idea, because they had none, and there was no telling how long they'd be allowed to live.
I suggested they try Positive Thinking. I told them to be as happy as they possibly could whilst making a run for it. I told them I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, but that it was something I thought had a good chance of working. They agreed to try it.
Lucas has since gotten in touch with me. They did get out and away, but Joel's in a coma due to injuries sustained during the escape.

So, a partial success, or did my advice only hinder them, somehow? Was the whole experiment a failure because TDF already knew the plan? They were in an illusion of his making.

I would never have let them field test this if I hadn't thought it might be the only option left. So, I'm glad Lucas is safe, and I hope Joel wakes up soon. I'm not letting anyone else test my theories from now on. Data collecting issues aside, the guilt is terrible.

For those of you waiting for notebook pictures, they're uploaded, and I have observations ready on the first batch. Look for them tomorrow.

A Small Worry

I'm pretty sure I lost time this morning, and the scary thing is that if I hadn't accidentally left my alarm on, I never would have noticed.
I woke up at like... 9 something. 9:20? And I rolled right back over, because I was up till nearly 6 AM. But I didn't go back to sleep. I was totally awake and lucid for what felt like five minutes, then I rolled over and checked the time again, deciding to just get up so I could check on Scott, Joel, and Lucas, and my alarm clock read 11:01.
Guys, there's no way in hell I could have slept through my 11 o'clock alarm if I was awake and lucid a MINUTE after it went off. And I know that I didn't consciously turn it off, but it was turned off for the morning
So, either I fell back asleep and woke up without realizing it a minute after my alarm went off, having somehow turned off my alarm clock in my sleep, or I lost almost two hours.
Uhm. For various reasons I'm not going to describe, I'm highly aware of my mental state. I would have noticed the whole waking up again sleepiness thing. AND I'm a light sleeper. And honestly, I'm not sure it's physically possible to sleep through doing something so thoroughly it doesn't bleed through in a dream or something and yet wake up a minute later.
I'm too scared to ask Cam if he saw anything. Odds are, he's still asleep. We've both been sleeping during the day as much as we can.

Well Fuck Me

Not literally.


Sorry, force of habit. Today has been... strange. And nervewracking. It's my day off, you see, from both jobs. Cam thought we should stay home and hide all day, but that didn't seem condusive to the whole 'keeping positive and happy' thing, so I insisted we go out and have some fun. Very cheap fun, mind you, but just getting out of the house for something other than work was a huge relief.
I definitely needed that. I know I'm new to the whole slendystalking thing, but how do you guys with more experience not keel over every time someone you care about is put in danger?  Between Scott and Lucas and Joel, my day has been one great big bundle of nerves. Especially in regards to the latter two. They're just kids.
I guess most of you lot are.
What a strange thought.
I guess that sounds kind of pompous for someone not yet 25, but living on the street ages you, even if you're not running from Tall, Dark, and Ugly.

Right. Point. There was a point, here. I've been reading more blogs-Kay's and Zero's, as well as a couple shorter ones that are interesting, if less relevant.
Jeez.
Once I finish with Zero and the new sages I'll be updating my mission statement. As it stands now, I've already got a lot of things to think about.
Also, I've got the pictures of the notebook. Once I finish texting them to my email address to get them from my phone to my computer, I'll start putting them up for you lot to see. The first batch should be up tomorrow.

One thing that's bothering me, and that might be nothing or might be something important, is that I'm starting to doodle. On everything. It's strange. And yes, I've found myself starting to draw Operator symbols before I catch myself. That makes me nervous, if nothing else, because outside of controlled circumstances I really don't want to start playing with something that might draw TDU my way. Y'know, as much as there CAN be controlled circumstances for this sort of thing.

In any case, I should cut myself off now before I ramble any longer. Rambling tends to mean giving in to one's nerves, and no matter how nervous I am for myself and everyone else right now, I can't risk losing it. I've got to stay strong for Cam.

Edit: Did not MEAN to leave my notes at the bottom of the page. Whups.

Getting Down to Business

First off, hey there everyone. It's kind of awesome to all of a sudden have people. Hopefully with my current plans I'll give you something worth reading.

Secondly, Cam is currently absolutely furious at me. For reasons I'll explain in a bit. So forgive me if I'm a little jumpy whilst typing this, I'm alone in my bedroom to give him some space.

Third, and most important, I've done some more work with the idea of doing research/experiments. I've made a list of things I want to look into as of right now. The list is, of course, subject to additions and edits, but for now, here it is, with brief summaries of what I want to accomplish/learn.

The Unspoken Plan

It has been noted in various blogs, specifically by Ava I think, but by others as well, that plans tend to work better when they're not publicly posted. From what I've seen, this is exactly the case, though that could simply be because I don't pay attention when it DOESN'T hold true. I'd like to test this and see how well it holds up.

Step one is already in the works, and for obvious reasons I can't say any more about it.

Humor/Good Spirits

Part of the whole preparing/dealing with the Slenderstalking I've been doing has been reading up on various other blogs, which I mentioned. Something I've noticed, and which Maduin and Robert have both worked with some, has been the power of positive emotions. Maduin has managed to pull some CRAZY shit and come away with comparatively little retaliation, by staying positive and treating them as pranks. Robert actually chased Slendy away by doing karaoke.

How much of this is luck and how much of this is due to the above, I'm not sure. But I'm intending to find out. If it's something that actually helps, maybe it's the key we've all been missing.

The Notebook

This is the one that Cam's flipping shit about. He's convinced investigating the notebook is the worst thing we can do now. Okay, he's flipping shit about all of them, but he's especially convinced that looking into the notebook is a bad idea. Probably because he hasn't figured out that Just Another Fool is a fake.

But the notebook had a bunch of strangeness, some of which isn't just stereotypical slendyranting. It might give us a lead.

Operator Symbol


The bloggers seem pretty torn on whether it attracts or repels him. Which, if what Ava found in Egypt is accurate (Check The London Librarian's post entitled ZEKE for more info), it might do both. Or neither. Either way, there's a modified operator symbol like the one Ava found in the notebook. Circled. I didn't know what it was before.
My question is, why the fuck is it even a question when it came from a known fake, Marble Hornets?

Sanity

From what I've seen and some people have theorized, it might be that Slendy can't actually hurt you until you've gone off the deep end. I certainly haven't seen anything that disproves it, and quite a lot that supports it. But I am rather concerned about how I can test this without being absurdly stupid.

Motivations

Why does Slenderbender go after the people he does, when he does? Why does he go after everyone differently, to the point where M and Shaun's Slendy seems stupid and instinctual while Zeke, Scott, Celie, Lucas, and Joel's Slendy seems clever and crafty?

What exactly does Redlight want? Why does he do the things that he does? Why does he have Scott captive in a crazy Silent Hill-esque town?

I don't really expect I'll find these answers easily or often, but these are key, because if we can understand our enemy, we can defeat him. So I'll keep asking the big questions and eventually I'll get some answers.

The Narrative/The Power of Belief

Robert has the Core Theory, the first of which included all the titles and ceremonialism of a religion. Zero... well, he believed in the whole belief thing so much that the Solstice thing happened. And we all know how that went. There's been a lot of speculation about the power of belief, whether it comes to his weaknesses or to his very existence. Some think he's a Tulpa, some think he's always been here, some think the truth is more complicated than that.

In addition, something the notebook said when I glanced over it before stuck in my head as I read through the various narratives. It talked about the lot of us being no more than characters in a story, warning me to follow the narrative. We all make cracks or warnings about Genre-blindness. What if that is nothing more than plain fact? The blogs read like a story-right down to narrative timing and dramatics. Oftentimes, things happen for seemingly no other reason than to serve the narrative. Think about it. How many things Slendy does could finally be explained by serving the story? He's staring in your window to increase the tension. He hasn't killed you yet because it's not a satisfying ending to your tale.

That could all be complete bullshit. But it's something to think about. If I work with the narrative, if I really believe in it, maybe I can make things work FOR us, instead of against us. Or at least predict trouble and point people to the best way to prevent it.

Uhm. Maybe I'm way the hell out of my depth. Maybe all of this is insane. But it's worth trying, because EVERYTHING is worth trying until we've got some idea of what the fuck to do. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go calm Cam down and go back to biting my nails about what I've just done.

Oh, and also planning what to do next.

Edited to add a discussion on the Operator Symbol.

Taking Control

So, if anyone's reading this, I've been making an ass of myself. I let the panic get to me, and I've been flailing about like a chicken with it's head cut off.
No more.
As I think I've mentioned, I've been spending my spare time reading up on the blogs of those wiser and more experienced than I with the whole slendystalking thing. I'm absolutely in fucking awe of all of you. If I've caught up with your stuff, I've commented on your blog, you know who you are. There's a lot more of you I WANT to catch up with, I have like twenty tabs worth of blogs up to read.
A few things stick out to me.

Firstly, I'm ignoring that oh-so-ubiquitous advice and staying put. Cam is as well. This may not be the smartest move in general, but running requires resources I don't have. And also as I'm technically still under probation it'd be a bad idea to run off. I'd prefer to stay on the right side of the law as long as I can.

Otherwise, I'm trying to follow M's rules as much as possible.

Which brings me to my big point. The blogs that have most inspired me are those of Robert, Shaun, Maduin, Jekyll, Ava, Celie, and Scott. The ones who fight not just to survive, but to learn. Theoretically, this is my area. Sure. I'm a semester into my first year of college. I dropped out of high school. Despite my desire to be a scholarly type, mostly I'm just a bitch who got off the streets just in time.
But fuck if I'm not going to try to contribute something. Cam and I are not going down without a fight, and we're not going to go without contributing something to the cause.
I think I have an idea, but Cam is so adamantly opposed to it that he'd freak out on me if I even wrote the bloody thing down.
So for now, I'll head out. If anyone is actually reading this, I'd really appreciate hearing about it.
No, sorry, that's just stupid and needy. Goodnight everyone. I'll report back when we've got a plan finalized.

Checking in

I've no indication anyone's reading this, but just in case someone is, Cam and I are both fine. He's started driving me to and from work, days when I go in. He doesn't have a proper job right now, so he has the time. In a few weeks, when he has to go back to work at Haven, then we might have a bit of a problem.
In the meantime, I stay as safe as I can, under the circumstances. After catching up with Jekyll's blog and starting to read Maduin's, we've started trying to keep from freaking out, in the hopes that it really will help.
So far, good news. I haven't seen him since my last post, though that's


...
Fucking hell.
Genre-blindness much?
I swear, that was the stupidest thing I could have said.
Because he's at my window now. Motherfucker. Going to get Cam and River.Alpologies for any typos, I don't fucking dare look away. I'll try to check back in asap to let anyone watching knwo that I'm still alright.

In which my decision making skills are fucking AWESOME

So, it's a bit harder to be scared of an eldrich horror apparently invented by the internet (though I know that's not quite right) when you've had a really fucking shit day at job one and you're about to be late for job two because job one kept you for an hour past when they were supposed to.
My manager at job one wouldn't fucking let me go. And I was supposed to be at home ready to take calls from internet perverts for cash half an hour after the first job FINALLY let me go.
It was 9 o'clock at night. Had I gotten out of work on time, I could have taken the long way home and avoided the park AND gotten home before dark.
As it stood, if I wanted to get home on time, so as not to be late logging in to work, I had no choice but to walk home through the park, like I always would have.
I really considered just being late to the second job, I could have talked my way out of being in trouble. But unfortunately, I'd had such a shit day at the burger place, so many idiots and assholes, including my absolutely useless manager, that any fear of Slendyshit was buried under pure rage.
I managed to convince myself that I was being stupid, that I'd only seen tall, dark, and ugly last night because I was terrified and tipsy. He couldn't really be real, and so I should stop being a moron and walk home the short way, so as to not be late for work.

So, lets recap. Angry, stupid Elaine, walking home alone, at night, through the woods. Yeah. The outcome was entirely predictable. He was there. The entire walk home, he was there. Just watching me, head tilted at that creepy as fuck impossible angle. Every time I moved out of sight, he was there standing beside a different tree.
Thankfully, my self-preservation instinct kicked in at that point, and I remembered M's rules and didn't run. I walked as fast as I could, but I didn't dare risk running. It worked, clearly, otherwise I wouldn't be here, but it was terrifying. Cam called me ten kinds of idiot when I told him, too.

I think the worst bit was getting home and having to be sexy for pay for six hours. Especially because he kept fucking staring at me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a guy off when you've got a motherfucking eldrich horror watching you do so? Yeah. It's rather difficult.
I should get hazard pay or something.
Now, Cam and I are huddled in our living room, with the blinds very tightly drawn. River, our cat, has been freaking out all buggering night. It's not hard to figure out why.

I really should start following the horror movie rules, before my idiocy gets me killed.

Introduction

So, I probably should have done this first, but in the general overload of information and fear, somehow I forgot the niceties and went straight to freaking out at the internet. Uhm, whups.
Hi, I'm Elane. I'm Twenty three years old, and a freshman in the college of my dreams, where I'm studying Folklore. Yes, I started late. This is because I made stupid decisions when I was younger and spent several years without any money to spare for food, much less college.
Urban Legends, ghost stories, and the like are my passions, though as I tend to stick to my specific corner of the internet, I'd only vaguely heard about Slendy before.
Then, about a week ago, I was walking home through the park across the street from my house (which is pretty heavily wooded), and I found a notebook. Specifically, one completely filled with random messages and sketches. Nothing I saw identified it to me, but it was interesting, so I took it home and showed it to my roommate.
Who suggested it might have to do with Slendy, because of the sketches of him that are spread throughout the thing.
I did some research. The thing is COVERED in Operator symbols, and a lot of the imagery and ranting are consistent with the notebooks from JAF, as well as the sketches that are referenced in pretty much every Slendyblog I've found so far. Silly me, I was excited. I thought it was a great chance to see an urban legend in action. I started reading up on the blogs, caught up on Marble Hornets, got really excited. But things were starting to happen. I didn't pay any attention at first, because I thought it was just paranoia. These tales are terrifying.
But The feeling of being watched just got worse and worse. And I couldn't quite convince myself it was safe to walk through the park. My roommate and I both started keeping the curtains tightly drawn. We didn't talk about it. It just felt safer. And all the same, if my cat hadn't started going mad at my bedroom window, I would have chalked it up to paranoia. I didn't dare open the blinds to peek.
But then last night I was at a party, and THEIR windows weren't completely covered. But I wouldn't look. Nothing on earth could have made me look. Until their speakers started buzzing. Not the speakers for the music, that were on and going. The ones in the back room where I was sitting talking with a couple friends. The ones that were attached to a computer THAT WAS TURNED OFF. They start buzzing,and the set up is right in front of a window that's only partially covered. I looked, without thinking. And there he was. Cam was there with me, and he saw too. We both slept on the couch there that night-nothing was going to make us go home in the dark with  him outside.
So, we're kind of fucked. And it's probably my fault that he's stuck with it too. I don't know what exactly I'm hoping for, posting this. Maybe commiseration? Maybe just someplace to swear the air blue where Cam doesn't have to deal with my freakouts? Maybe I just have to have SOMEPLACE to say things, otherwise I'll go mad.
In any case, if anyone's reading this that has any advice to offer? It would be much appreciated.

Clarification

Okay, to clarify, nothing's actually chasing me. Yet. But I'm not stupid. I know the signs, I've done my research, and when you find a notebook with strange pictures of slenderman and odd scrawls and PLASTERED in Operator signs, you start paying attention.
Especially when you found it in the heavily wooded park you can see from your apartment window. I honestly thought it was just a myth, some stupid story cooked up by the SA trolls. But the previous owner of the notebook is missing, and I'm starting to see him in the corner of my eye when I'm walking home.
In fact, I stopped walking through the park in the hopes that if I stay away from the trees maybe he wouldn't come.
I haven't seen him properly yet, but I feel his eyes staring.
Maybe I'm just paranoid. I hope to god I'm just paranoid. But my cat seems to be convinced there's something here. Last night she spent an hour angrily meowing at my window. She's NEVER done that before.

Not entirely sure why I've started this. Not really the blogging type, more the reading type. Or the writing things down privately type. But things have gotten so strange lately, and I figure maybe someone out there can help, or at least commiserate.

Because ever since I found that notebook in the park, things have been going wrong.