Thursday, September 8, 2011


Some of you may remember a certain showdown I had with a certain proxy back when I was still in Austin. I told you all at the time that I taunted him about his brother, and that it was a berserk button reaction. That's true. What I failed to mention was that we got in contact afterward. 
I'm still not quite sure what inspired me to send that first email. But we got in touch. We started fighting via email, and then we started bantering, and then we just started talking. And somehow we became friends.
I learned the truth of  his story, and I told him the truth of mine.
When I was being held captive by the police, he came and rescued me. Yes, that's right. The big kidnapping plot? It was a farce. A necessary one, if he were to do it without being killed. He came to get me away from the cops, he made sure they didn't hurt me, he made sure Terminator found a stash of drugs so I could get away cleanly that morning. He's all but stopped trolling me-in fact only doing so when it actually helps me. We've gotten insanely good at pretending to hate each other while sounding encouraging.
The fact is, I've been begging him for the past month and change to defect. This is going to be hard to swallow, but he's a remarkably good person past all the rage and fear and slendy-control. He's risked life and limb to help me multiple times over our short friendship, perhaps most notably when he actually risked coming into my 'cell' when he had me 'kidnapped' because I needed a friend and a shoulder to cry on. It was so stupidly reckless and and selfless and utterly /good/.
I find it impossible to dislike someone who's willing to risk life and limb JUST TO HOLD ME WHILE I CRIED.

Do you remember around a month ago, when Valtiel showed up to torture him out of the blue? It was because he was considering defecting, though he obviously couldn't say that in public. The big problem was that he's at least partially hallowed. He's undergone the process repeatedly, and while it doesn't seem to stick forever, it means that he doesn't have complete control over himself or his actions. Yes, that's right, folks. The proxy everyone loved to hate was oftentimes more or less a puppet on a string. Which has led to some rather unfortunate and spectacular tragedies over the past few weeks as we've been preparing for him to do the actual defecting.
Again. Yes, that's right, folks, he /agreed/ to defect. In his words, specifically so he could do a better job of keeping an eye on me-the first real friend he's ever had in his life.

So. We went to New Jersey today. We meaning Spencer and I. We went to Jersey, and... I wish we could have interfered in what went down today. I really do. I don't know exactly how it happened,  though I know that when we found him Melly wasn't with them, and they seemed to be doing a lot of arguing. So I hope that perhaps it went badly for them and well for us. I really, really do. But we couldn't risk interfering and dragging his handler into it, or else we all would have ended up dead. I'm so sorry.


  1. A Warning: IF Morningstar and the Godmother DID kill Kay tonight, based on my knowledge of "Nick"...

    There will be no restraint. He will perform dark vengeance upon them as only something like him can. That is not a threat, it's a warning. Especially if you help either of them.

    You think you know this man, but you don't. He has a VERY specific point, where all the nonviolence and peace-to-all-things goes away. This is that point. When "Nick" finds out, Morningstar is dead.

  2. You know my opinions on this already. It still leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. All i can say is good luck and i hope to god this isn't a big, fucking, mistake.

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  5. In retrospect, a little morbid.
    You know there's going to be at least a few people who will be quite put out if anything happens to you, right Elaine?

  6. Ellen, I'm well aware. I'm very seriously hoping that he didn't manage to kill her.

    Lexi, yeah.

    Lucas, thank you.

    Rachael, what?

    Nemo, I know. He won't hurt me, I promise you

  7. Oh, you stupid. Sons of. BITCHES. Do you honestly think this can end well?! AT ALL?! Fucking hell, use your HEADS. Think for one goddamn fucking MOMENT would you?! Think of all Morningstar has done. Think of the rage. You think that's going to get EASIER as a DEFECT?! NO! It'll get WORSE. The Black King is his mental CRUTCH. What the FUCK do you think is going to happen when you rip that away?! You have no idea. No fucking IDEA what you're doing....

    You know what? I'm glad he made a friend in you. Really. I am. Good for him.

    I really wish it were that simple.

    But running? Fucking RUNNING? He IS Morningstar goddammit!! There is NO running from that history. There is NO running from those memories. There will be NOTHING to HELP him anymore. Memories are key here, Elaine. Do not think you are the only one who's been looking into the bastard.


    Kill him. If he doesn't want to serve anymore, than kill him. That's the only way out. The only way. I wanted to do it myself, but considering the options now... you can do it. Kill him.

    Be merciful. Think of the fallout. Think about the people other than yourselves. And kill him.

    Really... thank you SO much for making my FUCKING DAY so goddamn WONDERFUL right from the get-go. I was almost feeling content before this. It's so NICE to get that blood boiling again. All over your fucking stupidity. I can't believe you actually.... HOW CAN YOU BE THIS BLIND???

    I know you're going to argue back. Claim I'm wrong. And frankly I'd love to get in a hissing match with you that I know I'll win... but don't bother. Gotta get back and help Val move our shit again. Can't spend it trying to pound common sense into your thick heads. So this is the only shake you're gonna get. Please. DO NOT IGNORE IT.

    I'm warning you. Don't do this.

  8. ... Mitch. You're a fucking moron if you think I'd lose the chance to give him something good, something real.
    He deserves a chance. He's just a scared fucking kid. Just a kid.
    I understand your anger. But your personal stake in this makes you biased. He has a shot. He has a real shot.
    I do not give up on the people I care about.

  9. I think I can say "called it." I remember commenting, I think on Morningstar's blog at some point (possibly when you were "liberated"), that he secretly had a "thing" for you or Nick. Guess I was pretty darn close to the truth.

    If this is on the up and up, then I apologize for any snide thing I've ever said or implied about Morningstar.

  10. Thank you, Mystery. It's good to see someone supportive. Though I really didn't expect anything positive, at least for now.

  11. Elaine... just be careful okay?

    I hope it all goes well and I hope you don't run into trouble and that he doesn't well... you know...

    Stay safe. Be careful.

  12. ... The monster who killed Penny and Damon and Brandon?
    You're doing what?
    My lovers deaths are not just collateral damage. How could you forgive someone soaked in that much blood?

  13. Jessie, I felt the same way. I really did. Of all proxies, he's really one of the most undeserving of this.

    But think about it. If this works, we could get more proxies defecting, less people would die because of them.

    Besides, I certainly doubt you're the only one who's after his blood. He's hurt many people.

  14. I think that restoring Morningstar's humanity is a far more suitable revenge than killing or torturing him. I'm sure we've all heard the phrase "death is too good," well the longer he lives, the longer he has to suffer for what he's done. And if he truly wants to be redeemed, that will be suffering of his choice. He will have to live with the horror of what he's done till the end of his days. Psychological torment outweighs physical suffering hands down, especially when it's self inflicted.

    And if he is in earnest, then there's no greater zealot for a cause than one who was formerly against it. As bad an enemy as he was before, as a fighter for our side, he'll be a greater asset than most Runners/Fighters.

  15. .....

    So that is how it is.

    Pathetic. Moronic. Morningstar is not a child, Elaine. He stopped being one the instant he swore loyalty to our Father. And now he thinks he can relay the blindfold? He thinks he can just... run?

    Temper tantrum aside: Mitch is correct.

    There is no running.

    He only has three options now.

    Death by our Father.

    Death by his kin, such as myself.

    Or Death by a Runner scorned. There seems to be a line up of them.

    Either one... his end will be far more agonizing than he could possibly imagine. As will yours, sweetheart.

  16. So Luke really just had a heart of gold which only needed the help of a friend to bring out, and he's secretly a good guy who was just an unwilling slave to the monster?
    Tell that to everyone he's killed.

    A last minute redemption doesn't change his past.

  17. I think the Runners/Fighters calling for his death are missing the point. He could be an asset to us all, giving us intel and insights into the inner workings of the proxies. He was rather high up in their ranks.

  18. "He was rather high up in their ranks."

    Not.... Exactly. He was expendable cannon fodder which was put in charge of more expendable cannon fodder. While he was very good at his job, leading to him getting all them fancy assignments (and a killdozer!) I don't believe he was ever placed in a position of great influence.

  19. didn't he eat people?

    nuff said

  20. ...Alright. I trust you. Bring him home to us.

  21. Rhodes, go to hell

    Hylo, thanks

    Jessie, yes. Because dammit he's scared and lonely and wants to make things right. Also, remember. My kill count is a lot higher than his, I think. Just saying.

    Mystery, yes, he does want to help, and he does have insight-and some rather valuable skill. There aren't a whole lot of Stalked that know how to fight beyond what they can pick up frantically as they go.

    So, Nightscream, you're saying his fate is the same as all the rest of us Stalked? Not half bad, really.

    Nemo, of course.

    I-330, who the fuck are you to decide who gets a second chance?

    Omega, you're right. But he has some knowledge anyway. He was well connected, if nothing else

    Anon, go fuck yourself

    Konaa, thank you so much.

  22. Pretty much. Though typically Runners are less likely to be slaughtered by fellow Runners than what Luke is now staring at. He has no "side" anymore. You can also imagine the time limit and induced agony to be about one hundred fold. We are not kind to betrayers. No matter how well they did their job.

    Personally, however... I do not wish it upon him.

    I wish it upon you.

  23. Wow. This is wrong. Very wrong. Maybe Jake is right.

    Is there an unfollow button?