Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Still Alive

Still running.
Stopped at a motel for a few hours last night when I hit the point where if I tried to keep driving I'd get into a wreck. We're stopped for food at the moment-we both need to eat if we want to be in good enough shape to beat this.
Star's seen some minor improvement. He'll walk on his own-he follows me around, honestly. He takes basic instructions, which makes my life a lot easier. I'm hoping this means he's honestly improving.
You all have reason to hate him, but for fuck's sake, slendershit hunted him down in the one place he thought he'd be safe and turned him into... this. Just. Empty. Blank.
Until... like eight or so last night he couldn't even move. I had to carry him.

I don't know what exactly has been done, but I do know that it must be absolute hell.
He had the option to return. But he didn't take it. He chose to stay, to deal with the consequences.
Does anyone still doubt his sincerity? Or even how deserving he is?

He's just a kid, guys. The same age my little brother would've been. Just a scared, abused kid who eight months ago hadn't done a damn thing wrong. Before he got roped into the proxies his only crime was lashing out at his captors. He was scared and alone and I just wanted to fucking help him because no one else seemed to really want to try.

And now Spence is dying and Writer's on their blog and Doc's trying to save his life running on adrenaline and  amphetamines.

I haven't been this scared since Prosper was in my apartment. I don't know what to do.


  1. the master the angel does what is right
    he burns the traitors all through the night

    riddle me this

  2. ... fuck. He's... you're sure? Just keep goin
    tg[ttttttttttttttttttt8hj0[qeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexgjor9fowqeifoF9I0EGGGGGGGGGGGEQRO]0ORQEJO9FQRORFkk oh fucking hell I passed out on my keyboard.

    I've been through worse, sweetheart. Not quite dead and Doc did a damn good job. Just sort of woke up and my eyes aren't back to normal yet but they will be eventually.

    I'm not gone. I'm not dying. I am I. I'm me. Spencer is the author of this comment and you better not forget it.

    I needed to tell you I was alright.

    That I'm going to be alright no matter what. No matter what you all see on that blog, I'm going to be fine.

    ... Y'know, back when I was a Title, there was a runt of the litter. Added to the group later on because he had promise.

    He looked a lot like Star does.

    I'm a selfish idiot.

    I'm sorry I couldn't protect you both like I promised. I'm sorry for what I said the other night. I'm sorry I'm not who I said I was.

    ... and I'm sorry for what I'm going to do next.

    But you're going to have to wait and see for that one. Elaine, you looked so beautiful when you were leaving; I feel bad that I was such a broken mess. Maybe next time I see you I won't be covered in blood and vomit.

    Keep moving. Keep buggering on. If anyone can do it, it's you.

    ... If I tell myself I'm not afraid anymore, if I keep on beating that into my head, do you think I'll eventually believe it?

    Three little words. I just wish I wasn't so cowardly so I could actually say them.

  3. Ridley, go to hell.

    Spencer... check your voicemail, alright?

  4. Any bastard who pisses me off as much as Spencer does isn't going to be killed that easily.

    Just stay alive and keep moving.

  5. it's not true that he hadn't done anything wrong before this, but that doesn't mean i don't agree with you.

    i hope he wakes up soon. i still want to talk to him.

    blank... empty.... hollow. hehe.

    god, it all makes sense now.

  6. every

    except that it's all a lie

    riddle me this

  7. I... Stay safe, Elaine. Please? If you need to talk, my inbox is always open, okay? Bluh. I just... Sorry.

  8. Tell him hi from Ferus. Some of us are still rooting for him to rejoin us.

  9. From what I had read, this Star kid is starting to pay his debts.Wonder if he is going to be able to pay them all.
    Maybe with a friend as strong as you he would.

    -With love, you Merciful Sister

  10. Alright, he's sincere. Or an excellent actor. I'm willing to put my money on sincere and skepticism on red alert with that one. Still, be careful. If he's improving, it's a good sign he may be back to normal. Well, as normal as anyone is around us. But he could come back so much worse.

    On his blog, they talked about a second Morningstar and of Cifer not ending up with a happy fate. Whatever you do, don't let your guard down.

  11. dammit'd better stay safe. keep your eye on star and keep moving. running is the only way...i wish it didnt come to that, but its true...