Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Death

I didn't want to believe it. I refused to believe it, wrote my post yesterday completely convinced that it was a cruel trick. But it's not.

August St.Claire is dead.

Fuck, saying it like that... I can't hardly stand to look at it. But it's the truth, and he wouldn't have wanted us to hide from it. He was the best of us, a beacon of love and hope in the midst of all the tragedy of the Stalked. A lost, broken boy, who decided to make meaning for himself out of helping the rest of us.
And just like Emma and Cam before him, a monster laid him low to try to destroy us.

Steele has already made the threats I want to make. I'm sure he and the rest of them will be able to say better, more beautiful things in memory of this man that took such good care of us all. Eulogies will be made, a lot of tears will be shed, because the world has lost some of it's goodness without August around to mother us all.

But August... he knew what I was long before the rest of you. He made friends with Cam and wore a dress to his wedding to make us smile. Fought in it too, to defend people he'd never even met before.
He drove halfway across the country on a moment's fucking notice to try and rescue me, a woman he'd only met once and barely talked to.
He took all my late night phonecalls, when I was drunk and crying or angry or whatever other reason. He talked me down and gentled me and told me that I was a good fucking woman and that I really could make Cam proud.
He somehow found my fucking birthday and made me a goddamn feast to celebrate, without being asked, just to try and make me smile.
He held me while I cried, more times than I can count.
He let me use his fucking bedroom when I was scared and lonely and Spencer was... not himself.
He cheered me on while I fought for Star, and when I attempted the impossible task of setting up a safehouse.
He talked me down when I was piss drunk and scared
He came down to help settle in Richard, Elliott, and Alex, because after what they'd been through they needed all the gentle they could get.
He was the one I called when Hope was falling down around my ears and I didn't know what to do.
He was the one I turned to when I got back to the House and I was too far gone to even register anything but loss.
He was the one that mothered Emily when I couldn't fucking do it, and she was hurting as badly as I was
He made no complaint, merely held me and apologized when I tried to kill myself.
He was the one that always made time for me if it was physically possible, no matter what.
And in the end, I didn't realize how much I'd come to rely on him until I was talking to Lori on the phone because I couldn't believe he was gone until I'd heard it from her.

He will be missed. And Writer, you're fucking retarded if you think this will go unpunished.

18 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry Elaine.

    I'm on my way.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, I'll... I'll see you soon.

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  2. Lot of fallout and shit hitting the fan lately... can't be coincidence. I'd probably advise caution.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I noticed. Shit's falling apart all over. I'm definitely on high alert.

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    2. Air raid sirens. Exactly like fucking air raid sirens.

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  3. My condolences, sister..

    -Keiken

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    Replies
    1. Ja! Now your are not only a traitor, but brother of pagans? what a joke of a knight you came up to be.

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    2. Hey dumbass. I'm an atheist, not a pagan. Get it right

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    3. We see you, the sages, and the ones with the same ideologies as a new category of threat. Not exactly a physical one, but still another obstacle to deal with. But since you are not exactly proxies, or normal runners to us, we just came up with a term that best suited most of you.

      Pagans.

      I'm not really interested if you'r an atheist, a witch, an astral warrior, or just a disguised Proxy, my dear proxy lover.

      Delete
    4. Right. Respecting human life is a bad thing now.
      Tell me, Rafael, do you not respect the dead either? Lay the fuck off.

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    5. Respect is something you fight, struggle and bleed for.

      I dont respect corpses, but the memories they left. Die as a selfish person, then you will be remembered as one.

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    6. Then respect August's memory. A more selfless person I've yet to meet.

      Delete
    7. Counting:

      1.-He isnt the first one to die like that around here (thought, I admit his story is quite admirable).
      2.-I wasnt refering to him, proxylover.

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    8. I don't care who you're talking about. If you have something to say about me, that's fine, but not /here/

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    9. Oooh, I see. Excuse me if I didnt noticed before.It is just that I´m not used to cyber-altares de muertos.

      But dont take me wrong, I´m hostile to What you are, not Who. Hope that makes sense somehow.
      Farewell then.

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  4. Why do all the good people have to die....

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    Replies
    1. Everyone has to die someday. Good or bad, it doesn't matter.

      As Billy Joel might put it, though, only the good die young.

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    2. Perheapes that's why the Hunted are surviving longer than they once did.

      See you around
      -Caged

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