Thank you, Shaun, for being overdramatic and telling everyone your version of the story without sparing any time to really learn the details.
First off. Yeah, I have a deal with David. Did any of you really think that I managed to keep Hope slenderfree without something like that? Lets start off by all being honest. No one wanted to ask-and anyone who did ask, got the truth.
No, I'm not handing Stalked over to get killed. Anyone who has left here knows that I make a point of not asking where they're going. I deal in information, and I do my damndest to not inform on anyone that's been under my protection-I can't tell them where you are if you don't tell me, you know.
No, it's not perfect, yes someone could get killed because of my information, but let me ask every last one of you something. If I'm saving all of these lives, if people are staying here and being safe, given some semblance of a life back, and I'm giving information on maybe one person a month? Not even one person a month dies, just one person a month is informed on. As of right now there are six truly permanent residents of Hope-a family. Two of the forest kids, one of them currently incapable of running because of the trauma sustained while there, and a family. A mother, a father, a six year old little girl, and an infant. How many others get to live that much longer because they've spent some time here to get the heat off, to recover and get some proper meals and full nights of sleep and hot showers?
Look me in the fucking eye and tell me all of these people aren't fucking worth it.
So yes, I made a deal with the proverbial devil, but that's for your benefit. Every last motherfucking one of you has a place here if you want it. Because I don't fucking want what happened to Emma and Star and Cam to happen to anyone ever again. You all deserve fucking better, and I've made it my mission to give it to you. If that makes me a bad fucking person, so be it. I'll be here, doing what I can to keep everyone safe.
Showing posts with label nooot feeling too guilty about it.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nooot feeling too guilty about it.. Show all posts
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
A Visit
As much as I hesitate to do it, I am trying to stop and catch a couple hours of sleep every night. I thought I was being pretty damn secretive about my location, especially considering even I wasn't sure where I was going. I was just... going. Just driving to drive. Theoretically, no one should have been able to predict where I was going because I didn't have the slightest clue where I was going from day to day.
And yet, last night there was a knock on our door. I literally dropped my laptop in shock. When I looked through the peephole, even more shock kicked in. It was David. Ronan's David. The same David who gave me this lovely scar on my shoulder I need to find the time to get a tattoo for. The same one that killed Donovan's family and kidnapped and tortured Dia. And he just knocked pleasantly on my hotel room door. The thing that everyone mentions to the point that it gets repetitive is how normal he looks.
It's jarring. To look at this pleasant, smiling middle aged man and remember all of the terrible things he's done. Even worse when you're running on little to no sleep for a week solid and you've got basically dead weight to protect asleep in the bed, and you're wondering what the fuck he wants to do to you both.
I didn't answer. He proceeded to inform me through the door that he knew I was in there and that if I didn't let him in, he'd have to force it, and that would be unfortunate for us both. He asserted he just wanted to talk to me and would prefer to keep it that way. I've seen how he fights, I know what he can do if he so desires. So, I opened the door, knives ready, just in case.
And, strangely, he really did just want to chat.
Apparently, I left him a scar and somehow that translates to instant respect from David. I'm not sure I get it, but maybe I would if anyone I'd respected had ever left me a scar. With, I suppose the possible exception of David himself. I don't like him or what he does, but I have to respect him and his abilities.
We actually had a pretty pleasant chat, even the part where he tried to convince me to sleep with him. He took my no quite gracefully and continued the conversation.
He's seemingly picked me as someone who's approved by him to be TMV's friend. According to him, he doesn't want to leave him friendless, just remove the ones who are 'bad for him'. Ugh. I'm almost tempted to cut contact with TMV just to be contrary. I really don't like the way he said that.
Of course, I won't though, because it might be some help for TMV to know he has at least one friend who's not in immediate danger of getting tortured or murdered by David.
He left after a little while, but came back to inform me that he'd caught Jake skulking outside my room. Perhaps it was bad of me, but I let David take him. He'd apparently threatened TMV. To David's face. He was in a rage and I knew just by looking at him it'd take a fight to get him away from him. Call me crazy, but I wasn't about to risk Star's and my life for Jake. Especially after I talked David into leaving him alive and more or less intact. 'So he could defend himself when I went after him for what he'd done.'
So David's got Jake. No idea what he'll do.
In any event, I really need to get moving again. If David and Jake can find me, so can others.
And yet, last night there was a knock on our door. I literally dropped my laptop in shock. When I looked through the peephole, even more shock kicked in. It was David. Ronan's David. The same David who gave me this lovely scar on my shoulder I need to find the time to get a tattoo for. The same one that killed Donovan's family and kidnapped and tortured Dia. And he just knocked pleasantly on my hotel room door. The thing that everyone mentions to the point that it gets repetitive is how normal he looks.
It's jarring. To look at this pleasant, smiling middle aged man and remember all of the terrible things he's done. Even worse when you're running on little to no sleep for a week solid and you've got basically dead weight to protect asleep in the bed, and you're wondering what the fuck he wants to do to you both.
I didn't answer. He proceeded to inform me through the door that he knew I was in there and that if I didn't let him in, he'd have to force it, and that would be unfortunate for us both. He asserted he just wanted to talk to me and would prefer to keep it that way. I've seen how he fights, I know what he can do if he so desires. So, I opened the door, knives ready, just in case.
And, strangely, he really did just want to chat.
Apparently, I left him a scar and somehow that translates to instant respect from David. I'm not sure I get it, but maybe I would if anyone I'd respected had ever left me a scar. With, I suppose the possible exception of David himself. I don't like him or what he does, but I have to respect him and his abilities.
We actually had a pretty pleasant chat, even the part where he tried to convince me to sleep with him. He took my no quite gracefully and continued the conversation.
He's seemingly picked me as someone who's approved by him to be TMV's friend. According to him, he doesn't want to leave him friendless, just remove the ones who are 'bad for him'. Ugh. I'm almost tempted to cut contact with TMV just to be contrary. I really don't like the way he said that.
Of course, I won't though, because it might be some help for TMV to know he has at least one friend who's not in immediate danger of getting tortured or murdered by David.
He left after a little while, but came back to inform me that he'd caught Jake skulking outside my room. Perhaps it was bad of me, but I let David take him. He'd apparently threatened TMV. To David's face. He was in a rage and I knew just by looking at him it'd take a fight to get him away from him. Call me crazy, but I wasn't about to risk Star's and my life for Jake. Especially after I talked David into leaving him alive and more or less intact. 'So he could defend himself when I went after him for what he'd done.'
So David's got Jake. No idea what he'll do.
In any event, I really need to get moving again. If David and Jake can find me, so can others.
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