Apologies and Eulogies

Well, it's Elaine again. I'm still alive, I'm doing just fine, and back more or less to normal.

I really just want to start all of this off by apologizing for a certain stupid thing I did. It was selfish of me to try to remove myself from all of this without thinking about those of you I'd be leaving behind. Most of you I've talked to one way or another to apologize to more directly, but I feel like I should say something here. According to Blogger, a lot of people read this fucking blog. Probably at least some of you are looking for guidance, just like I was, back when I started. I don't want my story to end with such a cop-out.
All of you reading this deserve more from me, and honestly, I don't really feel like giving up yet. There's a lot of fighting left for me to do before I get my rest, and I intend to make slendershit crazy trying to take me out.

It was just grief. Grief for everyone we've lost recently. Starting with the fall of Hope, I lost eight of the people nearest and dearest to me over the course of a week. As I've said in the past, I'm nothing fancy with words or feelings, but I feel like I ought to say something for everyone that's gone.

The Johnsons. Their blood is directly on my hands. The family came to Hope because it was the only chance they had left. When they arrived they'd lost everything but each other, and were managing to hold strong and raise their daughter well.
But they had too much faith in me. They said the safest place in the world for them was at my side, in Hope, even without special protection. Jennifer, Levi, and poor little Adam. They were a loving, close knit family, and they deserved better than what they got.  Elliott and I are taking care of their daughter. Emily is only six, but she's amazing. I hope we can raise her right and keep her safe.

Michael. Or perhaps I should call him Nemo? He were more himself before he took his name back. He was a dear friend to me, even when he was going mad. Down underneath the protective layer of douchebaggery was the kind and thoughtful man I came to know when he first came to Hope. I miss him a lot, and I will always regret that I couldn't help him when he came to me in the end.

Konaa. He was a hell of a brave, crazy kid. No, man. I called him a kid, but his actions proved himself to be one hell of a good man. He was another of the best of us. Noble, tenacious, kind. He never gave a crap about himself, he was always fighting for us. He never killed, never even harmed anyone unless he absolutely had to. He was a good friend and a good man. He will be missed by all. He died as he lived-standing for what he believed in.

Lucas. He was by far one of the best, kindest men I've ever had the good fortune to know. He helped me through a lot of shit right until the end. He was also the first other Stalked I really got in touch with when shit hit the fan, which made him... one of my oldest friends. The world has lost something, losing him.

Joel. He and I were close as well. Lucas and Joel were, for a while, a bright shiny example of true love in the face of adversity. Then he was taken by his Wolf. But he refused to give up. He fought his way back out for the man he loved. He shouldn't be remembered by his final actions, but as a man who did anything and everything to protect the man he loved.

Josh. He was a hell of a kid. Would've really been somebody if he'd gotten a chance to grow up and actually do things, instead of run from a faceless fuck in a suit.  I didn't get to know him quite as well as the others, but I knew him well enough to miss him now.

I'll try to get something up in the next few days talking about what's been going on with me.

Lockdown Successful

The only way I can really start off this post is by saying how much I adore the outrageously fancy electronic lock system Cam bought for Hope.  Without it, the events of yesterday afternoon would've possibly ended much worse than they did.

We've had our first incident at Hope(I'm not naive enough to not expect more down the line), which was dealt with quickly and decisively. Michael, like so many of us Stalked, has a bit of a problem with going slendercrazy. So far as we can tell, he wasn't actually around, but it doesn't exactly go away. Some of you will know that firsthand.
He describes the lead up better than I could, not being in his head for it, but the long and short of it was that Shaun and I were watching a movie when Michael peeked in the door looking spooked and darted when he saw us. I was understandably concerned and when to chase him. As it turns out, Joel had chased him from when he ran away from their door. He told me what had happened, and the three of us chased Michael downstairs.
I... took a minute to lock down the gate so he couldn't get away-he clearly wasn't in his right mind and I wasn't going to just let him leave.
We found Tia and Lis there, outside. I sent Lis inside and locked down the entire place(Like I said, I /love/ this security system). Tia stayed, she's almost as good as I am in a fight. The four of us went after him. When we found him, I lured him into attacking me, Tia and Shaun subdued him, and Joel and I made sure there were no unpleasant surprises about.
Michael's pretty good with that stick of his, so there's a few bumps and bruises, but we're all okay and Michael is under pretty strict supervision.
He's back to himself, came out of it as soon as he woke up, honestly, but I'm keeping him secure for a day or two just in case.
As much as I hate to see this happen to a friend, it's nice to know that my plans and security measures are working so far. Score one for Hope!

In other news, TMV arrived Wednesday. He's settled in pretty well, it's nice to have him here. Kind of a strange reversal of the old days, when I stayed with him. Hopefully no one's getting stabbed this time.

Also. I've put it off long enough. I've been spending a lot of time looking through Cam's notebook, his papers from the old apartment... and I need to share what I've found. I think it's important. Expect pictures soon.

A Day of Peace

We have another new arrival today and I have to say, he's probably the one I've been most excited about. Shaun's here, and it's completely insane and completely wonderful. He's just looks so fucking happy to be here. I'm glad I could do this for him. He's my oldest friend among the runners, and I really honestly never expected to get to meet him. And yet. Here he is. I'm excited to have him here.

To add to the general air of excitement and good cheer, Joel's back! Not Wolf, not that weird halfway state, but Joel. Lucas has been floating on air all day and I can't honestly say I blame him. It's good to have my friend back, and at this point I know too well what it feels like when a lover goes over...
But Joel's back and smiling and they're billing and cooing again like they always used to. I swear, there's something in the air here at Hope, everyone's being all couply.

So, tonight Hope celebrates. Because apparently, sometimes things really do work out.