Showing posts with label parenting is hard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting is hard. Show all posts

Friday, April 6, 2012

Encounter

I really want to know how the crap people keep finding me! I'm not exactly light on the stealth. Though I guess these days all she'd need to do would be follow those police reports I mentioned...

In any case, I got a present today. Out in the middle of the street, in the middle of town. Ryuu found me. As I mention, I've no idea how. But she did. I didn't even recognize her until she was walking away-there is video of her on the blog, but it's been a while and I wasn't expecting her, of all people. Not after all the fighting between Mitch and I.
I suppose that's why she did show up, though. Walked right up to us in a parking lot, clutching Mitch's washer necklace. I whirled, shifting to get ready for a fight, but all she did was shift it in her hand to grab it by a specific one.
"You were wrong. On all counts." She told me quietly, handing me the necklace. I took it, noticing the dried blood remaining on the thing. When I looked up to ask what the fuck was going on, she shook her head. "I'm so sorry."
Ryuu then bolted, leaving me to shout. "I'm sorry too!" back after her.

After a lot of thought, I've put it on.  I can't do the same for my own kills, it would require a much longer chain and be heavy enough to probably cause issues. But it feels... right. Respectful, somehow. I mean. I hated Mitch for what she did to Star. For how she attacked me, even when I was trying to make some sort of peace. But probably most...
Mostly because her situation terrified me because I've never really been more than one bad day from where she is. All it would take would be one misstep, letting him have even the slightest foothold in my mind. And then I'd be stuck, just like Michelle.
We had so much in common. In our fight for independence, we lost so many people we cared about. I was always so scared of looking in the mirror to see what peered back at me. I fight so hard, I have been this whole time. To not just survive, just barely keeping out of slender's grasp, but to /live/. To regain what he's stolen, as Cam helped me to do, and reclaim my feelings, my personality, and to regain the ability to function like a real person.
But he calls. And he'll never, ever stop, and eventually he'll find a way in. And then it's only a matter of time. Watching Mitch and Spencer go down...
I can't deny that anymore.

I've arranged to give custody of Emily to a friend. Someone she already knows and adores. It's not safe for her to be with me, I was stupid to ever think otherwise.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Too Fucking Quiet

Exactly what the title says. Other than the incident with Lori, it's been quiet. Peaceful. No hint of Angmar, no more interference from slendershit, though of course he continues to lurk outside the window constantly. It loses some of it's teeth when he's done that constantly for months, though. What he does to me otherwise... well, that hardly matters so much as making sure Em is safe.

Her burn has healed up nicely, though of course she's scarring up. Those burns always do. And she's recovering from the LSD-she's had one flashback, but we dealt with it, and it was when the two of us were in the car together, so we didn't have to deal with other people asking questions.
That's something that's terrified me ever since I heard the story of Lily.

But for now, just... quiet. Peaceful. It's been good for both of us, but I can't help but be nervous about when it ends.